if moving on really is acceptance
my heart shouldn’t
still feel this
heavy
( should it? )
© Hudson Biko
Photograph: Jake Thacker
consciousness
i used to look at these
things as distant
far fetched parts
of realities
never felt
( and now,
i only seem to
feel everything
all at once )
© Hudson Biko
Detached
Caring less because
caring more
left us
with more
than we live
to give.
© Hudson Biko
Photograph: Matheus Ferrero
Overthought
Words knock at the precipice of lips
like scratched CDs stuck in players
looping in frequencies
of infrequency
( some things are harder to say )
© Hudson Biko
Photograph: Ian Dooley
Yellow
Flashes of yellow
and streaks of
orange scatter
across a sky
that stays
still at
five to
six am
letting
light infuse
its darkness
with perceptions
of new beginnings as
if endings ever existed
in the first place
( calling it sunrise )
Voices
Voices continue to scream in silent rooms
As sanity is swept by brooms
reeking of remembrance
at ten to three am
( eyelids shut )
© Hudson Biko
Photo by Ahmed Ashhaadh
It Might Take A While To Get There and That’s Not a Bad Thing
Most times when we step onto a path we know where it’s going to lead. When we can’t see where that is we find comfort in the footprints that precede us. And when its bleakest to see we listen for the voices that have left their remnants along the way in the hope that they guide us.
At times, our own paths look nothing like that.
They’re more like driving on roads with no roads signs to unknown destinations. They’re more like finding comfort in the virtues of our own expectations. They’re more like listening to the voices of those that have done it before in the hope that we might one day.
They mostly sound like “Rome wasn’t built in a day” or “Good things come to those who wait” – or some quote behind some waterfall on Instagram.
And there’s times when we internalize those voices or see those destinations and play them out in our heads in the hope that they’ll become our reality – and maybe there’s times when they make that road slightly more bearable.
But sometimes we wake up and realize that we don’t want to build Rome. That we just want to finish that degree. Or get that promotion. Or get to that thing that shouldn’t take as long as it is.
And in those moments we want something to make that path smoother.
We want to remove the rocks, the pebbles and the dirt.
Often its because we think that those impurities on our path are deflections from our own direction. We look at them like obstacles to the place we want to go to.
We often don’t think of paths as compilations of impurities. Of obstacles overcome time and time again.
And even though it might have taken a while, they were moulded by their own to process to become what they are today.
And that’s not a bad thing.
© Hudson Biko
Photograph: Warren Wong
Previously published by Thought Catalog at www.thoughtcatalog.com.
Nightfall
Nightfall has a funny way
of bringing the things
we try to put away
to light
© Hudson Biko
You
You let yourself in.
You
walked through doors
and floors
covered by a myriad of flaws
we never bothered to look at
,
You
placed your self
on internal shelves
I never wanted
to reach
,
You
barricaded your self
on levels which
were never warranted
,
You
collected dust
in bursts
dispersed
across the worst
outbursts
never previously rehearsed
,
You
went through phases
we called faces
in vases
always held
until they fell apart
;
But
you
Were never let in.
You
Never bothered to look at.
You
Never wanted to reach,
You
Were never warranted,
You
Never previously rehearsed,
You
Were always held.
Until
You fell apart.
© Hudson Biko
Photograph: SHTTEFAN
Woke
I woke up to it
Threading itself
into threads
that barely held together
,
Staining the
stains
that only stayed
because they
could
barely fade away
,
Infringing itself
on the fringes
because they
could barely hold themselves together
;
Because I could barely hold myself together.
© Hudson Biko
Photograph: Benjamin Combs
